I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
