Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
