i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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