dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
