Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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