we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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