SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
