you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
