omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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