I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
