Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
