And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
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When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
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It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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