Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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