Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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