problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
