Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
