I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
