I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
