I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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