My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
