You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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