What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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