Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
