Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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