I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
