All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
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you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
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ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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