Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
