Kareoke will never be a sober sport
are you so shy because you have an std?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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