need another drink. this is the easiest way
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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