apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
