Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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