this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
