Swine flu. Run for my life!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
