Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think I am morally bankrupt
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
