i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
