So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
