I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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