You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
