Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Fuck appropriateness.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
