I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize