One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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