This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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