I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize