we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
