Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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