i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
And then he peed in my hair
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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