you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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