Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
