yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize