I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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