Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
