she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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