Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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