I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
