I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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