Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
