just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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