Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
