Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
