dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize