I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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