Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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