Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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